Glimpse of "Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before"
Introduction
Welcome to this new running series. In this series I will partially summarise books that I have read, these will be my own summaries, and what's a better book to start with than the one I read not-so-long ago, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?.
Due to how long it takes to summarise all this information, as well as copyright, In each Glimpse I will choose three chapters that strike me as the most useful and insightful. And I will try to summarise all of the in about one to three paragraphs.
I hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 1 - Tools for mental health
Mental health is just like your physical health. You need to constantly work on it with multiple tools and techniques in order to improve. The crucial idea here is to use multiple tools, there is no "one size fits all", you need to have a collection of tools that work for you. Imagine building a house with only a hammer. You won't succeed, at least not in the long term. You need nails, screwdrivers, and saws. This is why it's so important to educate yourself on different ways to improve your health. Breathing exercises might help you but they alone won't fix your life.
Regardless of your techniques, you do need to change your mindset. But one thing that people often miss is that what you think affects what you feel, and what you feel affects how you think. It's a two-way road. Your thoughts do not have to be the root cause of your mental health. However once you are feeling low, your thoughts will influence how bad it can get.
One of the biggest mood pitfalls that people fall for are thought biases. Once you identify them and realise that they are illogical, you can start working on getting the basics right. Good diet, sleep, exercise, Human connection; but maybe the most importantly: Routine.
- List of common thought biases:
| Thought Bias | Description |
|---|---|
| Catastrophising | Assuming the worst possible outcome in any given situation. |
| All-or-Nothing | Seeing situations in extreme outcomes. Seeing yourself as either a complete failure after one setback. |
| Overgeneralisation | Taking a single events and applying it broadly to all aspects of life. |
| Negative Filtering | Focusing solely on the negatives of any given situation. |
| Mind Reading | Assuming what other people think about you. |
Chapter 2 - Motivation
Over time your motivation will fluctuate, it's human to feel unmotivated. It's not a fault in your system. But there are a few things to help you nurture that motivation feeling. One of the most prominent is exercise. Doing just a little exercise exercise each day, regardless of the amount, can still boost your willpower and motivation.
Another effective way to nurture motivation is decomposing project goals into small tasks. Any big task will invite that "can't be bothered" feeling. When the motivation for a long-term goal dwindles, it's helpful to have small rewards along the way.
But how do you encourage yourself to do a task that you don't want to do? think logically, and take the opposite action to what your emotions tell you to do. But it's also important to remember that persevering doesn't mean working until you burn yourself out. It means taking a step back when necessary and listening to your body.
Chapter 3 - Emotional Pain
Nobody wants to deal with emotional pain. One of the first things people ask when starting therapy is to have less negative emotions, and more of the positive ones. Unfortunately it is not possible to simply extinguish your emotions, instead, therapy teaches you to change your relationship with them.
It's important to know what not to do with emotions. You should not push them away. When we try to stop feeling in their track, we get knocked off our feet and find ourselves in trouble. Instead we need to allow emotions to rush over us, and allow them to run their course.
We should not believe that emotions are facts. They are real, but they are also poor interpretations of our brain's reasoning.
One part of learning mindfulness is seeing emotions for what they are. You are not your feelings and your feelings are not you. Emotions offer you information, but not the full story.
Conclusion
This is it for this glimpse. I look forward to making more of those summaries in the future. They offer me a way to pass you some information, as well as solidify my own knowledge. I really hope you enjoyed it, and Thank You for Reading.
Goodbye.